Borderline & Tarot A tarot journey of understanding and healing, representing and reflecting darker issues of life, with moments of whimsy. A true reflection of my own state of mind this past year that altered between weeping and wit. So the predominant themes of this tarot deck tackle issues of sexuality, feminism, & mental health. Although following closely to the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot system, it at times shows the darker and more cynical aspects.
I am a Tarot Reader of 30 years and a single mother of 3 children and this year I turned 50. I also struggled this year with depression and the accumulated angst of years of untreated Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
What is BPD? According the the National Education for Borderline Personality Disorder www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com:
"Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness that centers on the inability to manage emotions effectively. The disorder occurs in the context of relationships: sometimes all relationships are affected, sometimes only one. It usually begins during adolescence or early adulthood.
While some persons with BPD are high functioning in certain settings, their private lives may be in turmoil. Most people who have BPD suffer from problems regulating their emotions and thoughts, impulsive and sometimes reckless behavior, and unstable relationships.
Other disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse and other personality disorders can often exist along with BPD."
During the darkest moments of my winter, I turned to tarot and it was an anchor in the darkness that brought me through the worst of my thoughts, and distracted me from suicidal thoughts, and self-harming behaviours that I used as a coping mechanism. During this time I decided that I wanted to go deeper into my understanding and study of tarot, and decided to study each card in depth and try and collate images to recreate each card's meaning. This is the Blood Bread & Roses Tarot I have created and am selling on this site. I called the deck "Blood, Bread & Roses" after the groundbreaking book by Judy Grahn, whom I read in my early 20's and whose book was so influential in my feminism and understanding of the women's spirituality movement, and sexuality. So it felt right to do so.
In many ways this deck is a snapshot in time of a mood and state of mind, but it's perspective although rooted in the shadow side of life, is one I imagine or at least hope others may relate to. The deck is digital collage, and I scoured the internet for images that spoke to me, and reflected an aspect of each card's meaning. Often times, the meaning reflected is the shadow aspect of that card, and so the imagery may be triggering for some, and uncomfortable for others. The deck does not shy away from nudity or issues of sexuality, nor does it sugar coat mental health, with several cards speaking to my reality of that experience at least, and maybe yours as well. It also reflects my politics and social justice concerns, and in doing so turned some card meanings on it's head. And as much as possible I strived to be inclusive of gender, age, sexual orientation and ethnicity.
I am not a graphic designer, I am not a visual artist, although I am an a trained dancer, actor and musician, with a passion for all artforms. In fact I had to learn the program while I was doing this process. But this focused attention and learning curve was beneficial in giving me meaning and a reason to get up in the morning. It was very crucial in my recovery I strongly believe. So now I am hoping to print this deck and share it with the world. I also put myself into this deck, as I am the Devil in a red dress depicted on the Devil card along with other personal elements peppering the deck throughout. I have embodied in the past the struggles of The Devil card, and so it felt empowering to place myself in that role, and in so doing view myself and the implications of the card from a safe distance. Tarot if nothing else, is a powerful tool for personal enlightenment and transformation. For additional content, and tarot related stuff, follow me on Facebook and Instagram. And for Tarot Readings and other indie tarot decks, see my store at freyjasdaughter.com